Maineiac

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:

• I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
• My wild oats have turned into All Bran.
• I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
• Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
• Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

• If all is not lost, where is it?
• It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
• The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
• If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
• It's not hard to meet expenses ...they're everywhere.
• These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter ...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm hereafter.