Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Thoughts On Cats

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"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."
- Anonymous

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."
- Anonymous

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."
- Jeff Valdez

"In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats."
- English proverb

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
- Ellen Perry Berkeley

"One cat just leads to another."
- Ernest Hemingway

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later."
- Mary Bly

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."
- Joseph Wood Krutch

"People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life."
- Faith Resnick

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."
- Anonymous

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
- Hippolyte Taine

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."
- Missy Dizick

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats."
- Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."
- Joseph Wood Krutch

"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
- John S. Nichols

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer."
- Bruce Graham