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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Cell Phone
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone.
She is all excited; she loves her phone.
He shows and explains to her all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping.
Her phone rings and it's her husband.
"Hi hon," he says, "how do you like your new phone?"
She replies, "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell... but there's one thing I don't understand."
"What's that, baby?" asks her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
