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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Keeping Busy In Prison

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Three convicts were on the way to prison: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead . They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the bus, the brunette turned to the redhead and said, "So, what did you bring?" The redhead pulled out a box of paints and stated that she intended to paint anything she could. She wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail."

Then the redhead asked the brunette, "What did you bring?" The brunette pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."

The blonde was sitting quietly aside, grinning to herself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?" In response, the blonde pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. She said, "I brought these." The brunette and the redhead were clearly puzzled.

She grinned, pointed to the box and said, "According to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."