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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.


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  • Sit up. Say, "time to make the donuts." Leave. Do this often.
  • Every five minutes, get up, open the door, peek out, close the door and look relieved.
  • Express an extreme fear of sunlight. Move away from and flinch at areas of the room that are sunny.
  • Pick up the phone every five minutes and say, "hello." Look confused and hang up.
  • Unwrap a candy bar. Eat the wrapper and throw the chocolate away.
  • When listening to the radio, sing along with different lyrics and a different tune.
  • Address your roommate by a different name every time you talk to him or her.
  • Constantly drink from an empty glass.
  • Every time you handle something of your roommate's, use a tissue or gloves.
  • While unlocking your door with the key, complain that the engine won't start.
  • Name your animal crackers. Mourn for them after you eat them.
  • Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.
  • Try to make meals using your roommate's electric blanket.
  • Put black tape over the eyes of the people in your roommate's pictures. Complain that they were staring at you.
  • Everytime your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, wake him or her up and say, "it's time to go to bed now."