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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Whales
One day a boy named Tommy arrived in class, and his teacher, Mrs. Smith, started to talk about whales. "Whales can't eat people," she said, "their teeth are too soft and brush-like."
"But in the Bible, Jonah was eaten by the whale!" objected Tommy.
"I'm sure that's not true Tommy" said Mrs. Smith as she walked back to her desk.
"Okay, when I go to heaven," said Tommy, "I'll ask him!"
"Well, what if he's not in heaven?" Mrs. Smith asked.
Tommy replied, "Well, then YOU can ask him!"
