Family Safe Jokes

Find Us / Like Us

FacebookMySpaceTwitterDiggDeliciousStumbleuponGoogle BookmarksRedditNewsvineTechnoratiLinkedinRSS FeedPinterest
Pin It

Login Form

A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Married In Heaven

Star InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar Inactive

On their way to get married, the happy couple was involved in a fatal car accident. They found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to admit them into Heaven.

While waiting, the couple began to wonder if they could possibly get married in heaven. When St. Peter showed up, they asked.

"I don't know," replied St. Peter. "This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." St. Peter leaves.

St. Peter was gone for three months, and while the couple waited for him to return with their answer, they discussed that if they were allowed to marry in Heaven, could they get divorced if they should ever decide to split?

St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."

"Great!" the couple proclaims, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "OH, COME ON!" He yelled. "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?!"