Maineiac

I love the "swooshing" sound deadlines make as they go by.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

Hey! It compiles! Ship it!

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
- Rita Rudner

If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?

Jesus loves you. Then again, so does Barney.

Music is the art of thinking with sounds.

I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.

The average woman prefers beauty over brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

Perseverance is not a long race. It is many short races one after another.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.

The British have a reputation for keeping calm even when there is no crisis.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Repaint! Repaint! And never thin again!

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Get your mind out of the gutter! Grab mine while you're there, please.