Maineiac

After many years at sea, a pirate decided it was time to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he could also collect disability insurance.

He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agency assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related.

"How did you get the wooden leg?" asked the agent. In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Well matey, you see it was like this: me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom she swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me leg."

"Well that is certainly work related. How did you loose your hand?" In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Well matey, you see it was like this: me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom she swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me hand."

"Well that is certainly work related as well. How did you loose your eye?" In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Well matey, you see it was like this: I was laying on the deck one balmy day catching some rays when this darn seagull flew by and dropped his duty right in me eye!" "Well yes, but what does that have to do with the loss of your eye?" asked the perplexed agent.

"It were the first day with me hook!"