Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

The Burglar

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A burglar got into a house one holiday night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."

He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables.

He heard again, "Jesus is watching you." This time he shined his light all over, and it rested on a parrot.

He asked, "Did you say that?"

The parrot admitted that he had. "I'm just trying to warn you, is all."

The burglar sad, "Warn me, huh? A parrot? Who are you? What's your name?"

"Moses."

"Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler "Jesus'"........