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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Do Exactly as She Says

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Two guys are in a bar discussing their wives. One guy says all his wife does is nag him. His friend suggests that when he gets home, he do exactly as she says and see if that helps cut down the nagging.

The next weekend, they are in the same bar. The first guy says "Man, I don't think that your idea was so good."

"Oh?" replies his friend, "What happened?"

"I was sitting on the couch watching TV and I dropped my cigarette on the couch. My wife said 'Why don't you just burn the whole house down?' ...The place is still smoldering."