Maineiac

Family Safe Jokes

Find Us / Like Us

FacebookMySpaceTwitterDiggDeliciousStumbleuponGoogle BookmarksRedditNewsvineTechnoratiLinkedinRSS FeedPinterest
Pin It

Login Form

A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Engineers' Terminologies

Star InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar Inactive
 

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED:
We are still guessing.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM:
We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION:
We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH:
It works okay, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED:
We are so far behind schedule, the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE:
The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING:
We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED:
The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS:
It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT:
Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL:
Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING:
We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION:
I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS:
Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15. ALL NEW:
Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. RUGGED:
Too darn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT:
Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT:
One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING:
Achieved when the power switch is off.

20. LOW MAINTENANCE:
Impossible to fix if broken.