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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Cat Baptism
The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first time baptism by immersion.
He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize... you guessed it.. his three cats... in the bathtub.
The youngest kitten bore it very well, and so did the younger cat, but the old family tom cat rebelled. The old feline struggled with the boy, clawed and tore his skin, and finally got away.
With considerable effort the boy caught the old tom again and proceeded with the "ceremony." But the cat acted worse than ever, clawing and spitting, and scratching the boy's face.
Finally, after barely getting the cat splattered with water, he dropped him on the floor in disgust and said: "Fine, be a Methodist if you want to!"
