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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Alabama Tidbits
Q. Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery?
A. 3 dollars a year for a million years.
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Q. What do a Divorce in Alabama, a Tornado in Kansas and a Hurricane 
in Florida have in common?
A. Somebody's fixin' to lose them a house trailer.
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Q. Why do folks from Alabama go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A. Nobody admitted 17 and under.
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Q. What do you get when you have 32 Alabamians in the same room?
A. A full set of teeth.
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Q. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?
A. Everyone has the same DNA.
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Q. A new law was passed in Alabama recently.
A. When a couple gets a divorce, they're still brother and sister.
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Two Alabamians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens.
"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"
"I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm...... five?"
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An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
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The Alabamian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"No," he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?"
"No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."
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Q. Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
A. Almost took out the whole trailer park.
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Q. How do you keep Freddie Kitchens from hitting you with a football?
A. Wear a Bama jersey!
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