- you can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
- your wife's idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
- the Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, "What's that smell?"
- you're a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.
- you looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.
- you joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.
- you looked out for #1 and stepped in #2 !!!
- you won't buy a Japanese car because you're afraid you won't understand what they say on the radio.
- your kids go to a private school and they won't tell you where it is.
- your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin' contests.