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A Maineiac
Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.
Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.
Computer Terms for Aroostook County (Northern Maine)
- Log on - Make the wood stove hotter
- Log off - Don't add no more wood
- Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove
- Download - Getting the firewood off the truck
- Floppy disk - What you get from downloading too much firewood
- Ram - The thing that splits the firewood
- Hard Drive - Getting home in the winter
- Prompt - What the US mail ain't in the winter
- Window - What to shut when its cold outside
- Screen - What to shut in black fly season
- Byte - What the black flies do
- Bit - What the black flies did
- Mega Byte - What the BIG black flies do during trout season
- Chip - Munchies for TV
- Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat chips
- Modem - What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway
- Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
- Lap top - Where the beer spills when you nod off
- Software - The dumb plastic knives and forks at McDonalds
- Hardware - Real stainless steel cutlery
- Mouse - What makes the holes in the Cheerio box
- Main frame - What holds the house up, hopefully
- Enter - The only way to win those magazine sweepstakes
- Web - What a spider makes
- Web site - High corners of the ceiling
- Cursor - Someone who swears
- Search Engine - What you do when the car dies
- Screen Saver - repair kit for the torn window screen on the camp
- Home Page - map you keep in your back pocket in case you get lost in the woods
- Upgrade - Steep hill
- Server - waitress
- Mail Server - male waitress. Darn few in Maine
- MS DOS - Some new disease they discovered
- Sound Card - One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it
- User - The neighbor who keeps borrowing your stuff
- Browser - A problem moose in the Garden or Blueberry patch
- Network - Mending holes in the gillnet
- Internet - Complicated fish net repair
- Netscape - What haddock do when you don't do your network
- Online - good sign there'll be clean clothes this week
- Off line - the clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground -better luck next week
