Maineiac

Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy said, "Ya know Mahtha, I'd like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane," and every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that aihplane ride costs ten dollahs.... and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."

So Stumpy says, "By Jeebers Mahtha, I'm 71 yeahs old. If I don't go this time I may nevah go."

Martha replies, "Stumpy, that there aihplane ride is ten dollahs... and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."

So the pilot overhears them and says, "Folks, I'll make you a deal: I'll take you both up for a ride, if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say ONE word, I won't charge you, but just one word and it's ten dollars."

They agree and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard, he does it one more time, still nothing... so he lands.

He turns to Stumpy as they come to a stop and says, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to holler out, but you didn't."

And Stumpy replies, "Well, I was gonna say something when Mahtha fell out... but ten dollahs is ten dollahs!