Maineiac

Dogs don't cry.

• Dogs love it when your friends come over.
• A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
• Dogs don't care if you play with other dogs.
• Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
• Dogs are excited by rough play.
• Dogs love red meat.

• Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
• If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
• A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
• A dog's parents never visit.
• Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
• Dogs know that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
• When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
• Dogs don't hate their bodies.
• No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
• Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
• Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
• Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
• Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than lobster.
• You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
• Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
• Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
• Dogs never want foot-rubs.
• Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.