Maineiac

YO' MOMMA SO DUMB...

• she stuck a phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call!
• she threw a rock at the ground and missed!
• she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's!
• she got locked in the supermarket and starved to death!
• she used bus tickets in a taxi!

YO' MOMMA SO FAT...

• we have to grease the door frame and dangle a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through the door!
• she sat on a dollar and made change!
• she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles!
• when the cops see her on a street corner, they yell, "Hey you guys, break it up!"
• she was lying the beach and the lifeguard asked her to leave the beach because it was getting late and the tide wanted to come in!
• she has a refrigerator strapped to her waist, and it looks like a pager!
• she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for their new world!
• she sat on the beach and Green peace threw her in!
• she can't even jump to a conclusion!
• she's moving the Earth out of its orbit!
• she has 48 midnight snacks!
• she plays pool with the planets!
• she made Richard Simmons cry!
• when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan!
• she don't know whether she's walking or rolling!
• she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic!
• she went outside with a yellow dress on, bent over and a man yelled "TAXI!"
• when God said let there be light, he said move your fat ole butt out of the way!
• she fell in love and broke it!
• when she first tried on high-heels, she struck oil! (my personal favorite of the bunch)
• one day she was wearing yellow pants walking down the street and a kid said "hey the bus past me!"
• her belt's the equater!
• it takes more then one driver's licence to get her picture on it!

YO' MOMMA'S TEETH SO YELLOW...

• I can't believe it's not butter!
• she walked into church smiling and the priest said "I see the light!"
• she smiled at the sun and the sun said "I quit!"

YO' MOMMA SO POOR...

• I walked by yo' house and saw you under a skateboard and said "What are you doin" and you said "fixin the family car!"
• I walked in yo' house and stepped into the backyard!
• when I walked to yo' house and rung the doorbell, yo' momma stuck her head out the window and said "DING-DONG!"
• I saw her shopping and told her to get the hell out of my trash can!

YO' MOMMA SO OLD...

• she used to hang with the Hebrews!
• she fart out dust!

YO' MOMMA SO UGLY...

• when she stuck her head out the window she was arrested for mooning!

YO TEETH SO BUCK...

• it look like Yo' Momma had an affair with Mr. Ed!