Maineiac

YO' MOMMA SO FAT...

• the only time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale!
• she sat on a camel and flattened its hump!
• when she sits down she is four feet taller!
• when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."

• when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate!
• I ran around her twice and got lost!
• she gets runs in her jeans!
• I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her!
• her butt's got its own congressman!
• no one can talk behind her back!
• I gain weight just by watching her eat!
• when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet!

YO' MOMMA SO STUPID...

• she studied for a drug test!
• she could trip over a cordless phone!
• she sold her car for gasoline money!
• she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
• she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
• she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
• when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put, "O.K."

YO' MOMMA SO OLD...

• she knew Burger King when he was still a prince!
• she was a waitress at the Last Supper!

YO' MOMMA SO POOR...

• when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
• her face is on the front of a food stamp!
• when she heard about the last supper she thought she had ran out of food stamps!

YO' MOMMA SO UGLY...

• she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the whole tree!
• she made blind kids cry!
• when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."
• she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning!
• just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

And my favorite of the bunch...

Yo' Momma so ugly she looked in a mirror and her reflection ran away!