Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Smart Blonde

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The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job.

"Okay," the sheriff said, "what is 1 and 1?"

"Eleven," she replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, 'That's not what I meant, but she's right.'

"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Today and tomorrow."

He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

"Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.

The blonde was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"