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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Speeding Blonde

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A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over.

The police officer, also a blonde, asked for the blonde's driver's license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while, and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"

Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!!"

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again, and found a small rectangular mirror, down at the bottom. She held it up to her face, and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license!!" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver, and said, "You're free to go. ...And, if I'd known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all this hassle."