Maineiac

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A Maineiac

Mainer = A person who stays in Maine for an entire winter.

Maineiac = A person who doesn't have the sense to leave Maine after the 1st winter.

Counting The Seconds

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The teacher said, "Now class, we know their are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?"

All the kids looked baffled by the question except Jasper, who raised his hand and waved it excitedly.

"Yes, Jasper, how many seconds are there in a year?" the teacher asked.

"Twelve!" exclaimed Jasper.

"How on earth do you come up with that number?" asked the teacher.

Jasper explained, "Well, there's January second, February second, March second..."